Aphrodite's House of Romance
by Sammy7300
Summary: I'm no longer continuing this story. If you're interested in writing the rest of it, PM me. I'm really sorry about this. More info inside.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all! Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy! Flame if you must, but constructive criticism is a much better way to spend your time, for both you and me.

* * *

Chapter One

"Hello-o-o-o!"

The voice rang unnaturally loud throughout camp. Piper sat straight up in bed. She recognized it, though it had been a long time since she had heard it. Gods, she hoped she was wrong about Camp Half-Blood's latest visitor. Piper jumped out of bed and slipped on her flip-flops. She left the cabin, and fell into a stream of campers headed in the direction of Thalia's pine. Now that the Giant War had ended, everyone was there for the summer to celebrate- The Hunters of Artemis and even a few Romans. The only people still asleep were the Hypnos and Aphrodite kids. Piper found it ironic that the latter were still in their cabin, considering who was at the top of the hill. Then again, they always needed their "beauty sleep." _They'll choke on their weight-loss shakes at breakfast when they find out who they missed_, Piper thought.

"I want all the campers out here! I suggest that you _do not_ anger me!"

Piper quickened her pace, though she wasn't looking forward to seeing the goddess behind the voice.

Sure enough, when Piper reached the crest of the hill, she found herself facing the last person she wanted to see- her mother, Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty. And she seemed to be the giggling and gossiping side of the goddess today. Most of the male and a few of the female campers gasped when they saw her. In her peripheral vision, Piper saw Annabeth stomp on Percy's foot to stop him from drooling. She stifled a laugh. But her mother did look good, in a kind of slutty way. She wore a short pink dress that hardly covered her butt, impossibly high heels, and way too much makeup. It was nothing compared to the way she had appeared to Piper on her first quest, but apparently it was enough to leave people struggling for breath.

"Mother," Piper addressed her stiffly, pushing her way to the front of the crowd.

"Piper, dear, where are your siblings?" Aphrodite asked. She faked cheeriness and nonchalance, but you could hear the anger seeping through the façade. Her eyes looked ready to combust. "You are head counselor. Shouldn't they be with you?" Piper was at a loss for words.

"They're…they're still sleeping," she stammered. She couldn't charmspeak her way through this one. Just as the goddess looked about ready to pulverize the whole camp, the rest of the Aphrodite cabin arrived. Drew led them towards the goddess. All the girls wore dresses, and some of the guys had even shown up in suits. They all had perfect, matching pink makeup, and their hair had been combed and styled. Piper still wore her pajamas, and her hair stuck up in every direction like a dead spider.

"I'm so, so sorry we're late," Drew said, "Our head counselor left without us, so we were scrambling to get organized and ready. We wanted to look nice in your honor, but Piper insisted on leaving without us, saying that your arrival was no big deal." The entire cabin, except for Piper, bowed at the goddess's feet. Piper's face burned red. Mitchell looked at her apologetically.

"Charmspeak," he whispered, tugging at his pink tie.

Aphrodite didn't say anything, to Drew or to Piper. She was clearly impressed with Drew, and shot a disdainful look at Piper.

"Well," the goddess said, "I thank you all for being here today. Oh, do we have the Hypnos campers yet?"

"No!" somebody shouted.

"Someone fill them in later. It'd take an earthquake to wake them up before noon. Or really wake them at any time of the day. Anyway, now that we're war-free, at least for a little while, it's time to have a little fun!" Some campers cheered, but Piper knew better. The gods had a very different idea of fun.

"So to get right to the point, I've set up a reality show of sorts. It will be aired on Hephaestus TV for all of Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter, and most importantly, Mount Olympus to see. It will feature everyone's favorite demigods, and it is an honor to be included in the show. And so, without further ado, our contestants are," the goddess said, pausing for suspense.

"What's the show even about?" Piper asked.

"Yeah, do I really want to be in this show?"

"What about our demigod training?"

"Will there be monsters?"

"SILENCE!" the goddess shouted. "You'll find out later. As I was saying, our contestants are," she paused and grinned, "PERCY JACKSON!" This was obvious. He was Percy freaking Jackson. Of course he would be on the show. The campers cheered. "ANNABETH CHASE!" More cheering. "NICO DIANGELO! THALIA GRACE! HAZEL LEVESQUE! FRANK ZHANG! LEO VALDEZ! REYNA SMITH! KATIE GARDNER! TRAVIS STOLL! JASON GRACE!" Continuous clapping and shouting.

"And Piper McLean," Aphrodite said coldly. There was no cheering this time.

"I don't even want to be a part of your stupid game!" Piper blurted out. She hadn't meant to say it out loud, but Drew was giving her an evil smirk and she couldn't stop herself.

"I could take Piper's place," Drew said, her voice heavy with charmspeak. The other demigods nodded in agreement, but Aphrodite wasn't fooled.

"What do you say, Piper dear? Stay in the game, and your actions this morning will be forgotten. Let Drew take your place, and there may be…reciprocations," Aphrodite said, "And keep in mind. I am the goddess of love. I'm sure you can imagine what kind of show I will run." Piper knew what this meant. She looked over at Jason. If she wasn't there, would Aphrodite push Drew onto him? He and the rest of the contestants were gathered up by Aphrodite, looking more uncomfortable by the second. She couldn't let her friends become subject to Drew's insanity. It was bad enough that Piper had to put up with her all the time.

"Fine," Piper said, "I'll be on your show."

"No!" Drew shouted. She looked about ready to cry

"Excuse me?" Aphrodite said.

"Piper, you've had your little quests," Drew began.

"Little? I saved the world, while you saved your makeup," Piper said. The makeup part didn't make much sense, but she was too mad to care.

"The point is, you've bathed in the spotlight for too long. It's my turn now," Drew said.

"I suppose maybe we could have one more contestant…" the goddess said, looking at Piper like she was challenging her.

"No," Piper said. It was the most effort she had ever put behind one word. Some of the demigods fell backwards, pushed over by the power of her voice. They looked stunned, but began chanting "No, no, no." Even Drew fell into a daze like she was starting to believe Piper. Aphrodite winked.

"I'm impressed, Piper. Charmspeak doesn't work on me, but I can see how good you are with your gift. Alright then, Piper, yes, Drew, no. Let's go!" Aphrodite snapped her fingers, and Piper blacked out.

* * *

I know my chapter was short, but short chapters mean quicker updates, and some of my future chapters will be longer :) And yes, I know Reyna's last name probably isn't Smith, but I couldn't find her last name in the books or online, so I just put in a generic last name. Hope you enjoyed 3 Constructive criticism is always appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: Hey everybody :) I've got a shout-out to make to one of my lovely reviewers. I appreciate all of you more than you could ever know, but I have something to say to one in particular. I had a guest reviewer yesterday, whose exact words were "too short." He/she said nothing more, nothing less. To you, I say- Your review was two words long. Your argument is invalid. However, you are my reader, so I've listened to your request, and I present to you a longer chapter.**

**I didn't think I would have to say this, but it seems that everyone else does, so I will. I do not own Percy Jackson. Duh. This is a fan fiction website, after all.)**

* * *

Chapter Two

Percy woke with a start. _ Where was he? _He sat on a pink leather couch, in a room with pink walls, a pink carpet, pink curtains, a pink TV… Aphrodite. Of course. Annabeth sat next to him, still asleep. Around the room were the other demigods the love goddess had decided to torture, napping on couches and chairs. Percy nudged Annabeth with his elbow. Her eyes shot open, and she instinctively reached for her knife, but Aphrodite had confiscated it.

"Right," Annabeth said, looking around the room with a sigh. "I know she likes pink, but this is a little much."

At the sound of her voice, more people began to wake up.

"Where am I?" "Damn it, Mom!" "This is a disaster!" "What's for breakfast?" "The pink! It burns my eyes!" "I wish I was back in the Underworld."

"Hello, demigod darlings," Aphrodite sang, waltzing in from behind them. "I had to take care of business at the camps, getting them HTVs and such so they could watch." Percy sighed. Great. Now everyone could watch him as Aphrodite tricked him into making a fool of himself. "And now, to explain the game. Welcome to Aphrodite's House of Romance!" she paused, as if waiting for applause. When none came, she continued, unfazed. "The point of the game is simple- you'll compete in challenges to earn points. But you can't win on competition points alone. They're not even half the fun. You'll also be paired off into couples, hand-chosen by the gods themselves. These couples were chosen by numerous factors- compatibility, likeliness or unlikliness of getting together, and favor by other demigods. To win, you'll also need couple points, which you'll get by being adorable, dramatic, et cetera. At the end of the competition, three prizes will be awarded- Cutest Couple, to whichever couple has the most couple points, Fiercest Competitor, to the individual who gains the most challenge points, and the Grand Prize, to whatever couple has the most overall points. You will compete in challenges solo, so there will be only one Fiercest Competitor, and challenge points from both sides of the couple will be added up for the Grand Prize."

"So what are the prizes?" Leo asked. Of course Leo would be the one worried about the prizes, instead of the fact that they were trapped in a place called "Aphrodite's House of Romance."

"For the Fiercest Competitor, a handbag filled with drachmas and denarii. For the Cutest Couple, a monster-free vacation to Hawaii. The Grand Prize is the couple's very own cabin at Camp Half-Blood," Aphrodite said, like these were the most fantastic things one could possibly have.

"Won't our godly parents be upset if we leave their cabins?" Percy asked. He was pretty sure Poseidon wouldn't be happy if he abandoned the cabin, and he didn't want to face Athena's wrath if he and Annabeth moved in together.

"I'm a goddess. I'll take care of things up on Olympus," she said. Percy wasn't so sure, even though a cabin for just him and Annabeth sounded pretty good, though the drachmas, denarii, and vacation didn't sound bad either.

"Wait a second, love lady; I'm a Hunter of Artemis. You can't expect me to compete in this couple stuff," Thalia said.

"Oh, but I can, because you're not a Hunter anymore," the goddess said with a smirk. Percy knew that she hated the Hunters, but this was a new low. She couldn't seriously just remove Thalia from the Hunters.

"What?" Thalia replied incredulously, "The Hunters are my family, my home!"

"Relax, okay? I've made arrangements with Artemis for you to leave the Hunters. If you want to return to those arrow-slinging bitches once you're done on the show, that's your own stupid decision," the goddess said. Thalia looked about ready to strangle her.

"Oh, I swear, when I'm immortal again…" she said.

"Save it, pine face. You could still be killed in battle, and I'm not somebody you want to fight," Aphrodite said. Her expression became so dark that it was more sinister than beautiful. Thank the gods, Thalia shut up.

"Now, are we clear with what's going on?" Aphrodite asked, taking a deep breath and regaining her false cheeriness. Percy and the others nodded. "Good. Now, for your couple assignments. If you go upstairs, you'll find the names of each couple written on the door of their new bedroom," Aphrodite said, beckoning them towards the staircase behind her. Percy stood up and took Annabeth's hand. He had assumed he would be paired with Annabeth. But now, a new thought popped into his mind. What if he was wrong? What if Aphrodite put him with Thalia? Even worse, what if it wasn't a girl- maybe Frank or Leo. Percy shuddered. Leo made a mean taco, but Percy sure as Hades didn't want to date him.

"You okay, seaweed brain?" Annabeth asked. She sounded as miserable as Percy felt.

"Yeah. I'm alright," he said. Percy didn't want to talk about imagining being assigned to Frank or Leo or Thalia. Too disturbing. They made it to the top of the stairs. Percy read the name on the first door. It took him a minute to decipher what it said, but he was pretty sure it read "Jasper." Who the hell was Jasper? And why only one name? Percy moved on to the next door. "Tratie." Was that a couple name for Travis and Katie? Percy thought that was about as good a couple as Tyson and a Fury. So Jasper must have been Jason and Piper. Okay, they weren't such a bad couple. Sure enough, the final door read "Percabeth." Percy was relieved. So he was with Annabeth after all.

"Annabeth! Down here!" he shouted. She had been looking for their room on the other wing of the top floor. She ran to him, laughing.

"Leo and Reyna," she managed through her laughter. Percy looked down the hallway.

"So, we're a couple now," Leo said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. They were a couple? That was worse than Travis and Katie.

"Shut it, Valdez," Reyna growled, her face achieving maximum levels of redness. Leo's eyebrows continued to writhe like dying caterpillars. Reyna punched him.

"Ow!" Leo shouted.

"Let's go check out the room," Reyna said, opening her door.

"Home sweet home," Leo grumbled.

The commotion continued.

"Thalico? That sounds like some sort of cold medication," Thalia said.

"We've got more important things to worry about! If you weren't a tree and then a Hunter, you'd be almost twice my age," Nico replied in distress, "This is just _wrong_."

"You think I'm actually going to date you? Wishful thinking, death boy. I'm just getting out of here alive, and then returning to Artemis, where I belong."

Next to Percy, Travis and Katie had found their room.

"Oh, she has got to be joking. Very funny, Aphrodite, you can hop out from behind the tree with the camera now. You got me, good job, now _let me go home_," Katie said. Travis walked up behind her.

"Believe it, _Katiecakes_. We're a couple now," he mocked. Katie stormed into the room with a strangled scream. Travis grinned at Percy and followed her, laughing.

Back down the hall, Hazel and Frank found their new home.

"Frazel? Oh, um, Frank, I think that's us," Hazel said.

"Oh…yeah, um, right, um," Frank stammered, opening the door for Hazel and following her inside.

Jason and Piper didn't seem surprised about their couple assignment. They walked in without much commotion.

"Come on, wise girl," Percy said, opening up their door. He and Annabeth walked in together.

"Oh shit," Annabeth said. That was a lot, coming from Annabeth. She rarely swore, at least not in English, and when she did, it meant things were bad. Really bad.

The room was even pinker than the living room downstairs. A stereo in the corner played romantic piano music. Enchanted origami birds fluttered around by the ceiling. Perhaps the worst part was the bed. Part of Percy had been hoping Aphrodite wouldn't have them sleep in separate beds, but he would have preferred separate deflated air mattresses to this. The bed was huge, taking up almost the entire room. It was heart shaped with red silk sheets, and scattered with pink rose petals. Percy thought this kind of thing only existed in corny romance movies. As if trying to appease them for her blindingly over-the-top decorations, Aphrodite had put a small fish tank on one side of the room, and a small bookshelf on the other side. Percy went to inspect the fish tank, while Annabeth went to look at the books.

"It's freshwater," Percy said, "And she forgot to add fish." It was true. The tank was decorated like a mini version of their room, as if Aphrodite had intended to make it a home for two sweetheart fish. Unfortunately, there were no fish. She had essentially just given him a tank of pond water.

"All of these books are cheap romance paperbacks," Annabeth said, disgusted. The bookshelf was pink, and Aphrodite had only put about ten books on it. The rest of the space was filled with cheesy cupid figurines. Annabeth walked over to the closet, and did not look happy with what she saw when she opened it.

"Who wears this kind of thing?" she said. On Annabeth's side of the closet, there was everything Annabeth would never wear- short-shorts, super-skinny jeans, and shirts with too-low necklines. Her selection for pajamas was even worse- it was just a bunch of skimpy lingerie. Percy was uncomfortable just looking at it. "She does realize I'm only sixteen, right?" Annabeth said. Percy looked to his side of the closet. Thank the gods, Aphrodite had left him his normal Camp Half-Blood t-shirts and shorts.

"You can borrow t-shirts from me if you want," Percy offered.

"Thanks," Annabeth said. She sighed and sat down on the bed, sending rose petals cascading onto the floor. "I wonder why Aphrodite's doing this. The way Piper described her, she sounded above this kind of thing." Percy shrugged.

"I don't know. When I met her, back when you were holding up the sky, she seemed like a class-A bitch," Percy said.

"Yeah. I guess when you can be in multiple places at once, and have lived for millennia, you start to develop different sides to your personality, beyond just the Greek/Roman thing," Annabeth said.

"Dinner time!" Aphrodite called. Annabeth rolled her eyes and kissed Percy. She turned off the stereo, he took her hand, and they trudged downstairs.

"Wait, how is it dinnertime already? It was 6:15am like an hour ago," Travis said, once they were all seated around the dining table. Percy had been so distracted by the day's events, he hadn't really noticed the time lapse.

"Oh, you were knocked out for quite a while. I had some business to take care of, and when I came back you were still asleep. I was going to wake you, but y'all looked so cute when you were asleep… It's around 8:00pm now," Aphrodite said, "Anyway, onto important announcements. Tomorrow will be your first challenge, the classic Truth or Dare. The challenge will be broadcast live, along with footage from tonight. So please, don't make a fool of yourselves. Also, your dinner tonight has been prepared for you, however most of the time you will need to prepare food for yourselves. Try not to starve. So, dig in!" Aphrodite waved her hands, and the dining table was filled with a delicious feast- well, if you could call pizza and root beer a feast- but the demigods ate without complaint. Once they had all had their fill, the goddess waved her hands again to clear the table.

"Alright half-bloods, time for bed!" she cooed.

"Bed? It's only 9:00," Hazel said.

"I guess you'll just have to…'entertain' yourselves," Aphrodite said with a sly smile. Percy nearly choked on his last bite of pizza. Gods, he hoped she didn't mean what he thought she meant. _That_ was _not_ happening. He didn't know what else he should have expected the goddess of love to say, but he definitely wasn't expecting that.

* * *

**(A/N: Thanks for reading :) Don't expect the daily updates to continue, I'm sorry, I usually can't write this fast. I'll try my best to keep it up though!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N: Sorry for the delayed update, I found out on Thursday that I was visiting my little cousins and had about an hour and a half to get ready, and then we left. I wrote as much as I could while I was there, but it's pretty hard to write when you're chasing after a 1 1/2 and 3 year old. But I'm back now, with the next chapter! :))**

* * *

Chapter 3

Leo lay on the bed, staring at the paper cranes flapping around on the ceiling. He was putting the finishing touches on a little mechanical bird, identical to the ones on the ceiling except in color. Aphrodite had left him a little pile of scrap metal, which he supplemented with stuff from his tool belt.

"I will name it Little Leo," Leo declared, launching the bird into the air. It flapped its wings a few times and fell into flight with its paper cousins. Reyna cursed in Latin under her breath and rolled her eyes. She lay on the floor, bored out of her mind. Aphrodite had left Reyna a bunch of Nerf weapons, which Leo was _really_ grateful for, because he was pretty sure he'd be dead by now if Reyna had real weapons. It was bad enough she had tried to shoot him in the eye with a foam dart earlier. Needless to say, he was wearing sunglasses now.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor, war girl, I won't bite," Leo said.

"No way," Reyna said, "If you knew respect, you'd be on the floor, and I'd be sleeping on a mattress."

"I'm sorry Princess Reyna, would you like the bed?" Leo said, standing up and crossing his arms.

"Not because I'm a girl, idiot, I come from _New_ Rome. This is the 21st century. You should have respect for me because I'm your praetor," Reyna replied.

"Nice try, but I'm a Greek. You aren't anything to me but my annoying roommate," Leo said. Reyna muttered something too quiet for Leo to hear, and they sat in silence.

"Hey, I know what we could do!" Leo said, perking up with a mischievous grin. Then again, Leo looked mischievous no matter what.

"Oh gods, no, we are not doing what that ridiculous goddess suggested," Reyna said.

"Not that, princess. Something else," Leo said. He reached up and grabbed Little Leo. The bird fluttered its wings, trying to escape, before Leo pressed a deactivation button on its back. He took it over to his pile of scrap metal and set to work.

"What are you doing, Valdez?" Reyna asked.

"You'll see," Leo said. After a few minutes, he finished with Little Leo and moved on to the TV. The television was small and in the corner, which he had complained about before finding out that Percy, Annabeth, Jason, and Piper didn't have TVs at all.

"You'd better not mess up our television," Reyna said.

"I won't," Leo said, finishing up the wiring and closing the panel. "Now, how do you feel about spying?"

A few minutes later, Leo was piloting Little Leo out into the hallway by remote control. The bird recorded both audio and video, which was played back on the TV.

"Where to first?" Leo asked. Reyna didn't answer. "Alright then, when in doubt, start at the beginning," Leo said. The bird folded up into a thin rectangle about the thickness of a piece of cardboard, slipped under the door, and bloomed back into a bird on the other side. Leo flew Little Leo down the hallway, past the stairs, and to the door on the end.

"Percy and Annabeth," Reyna said, squinting at the sign on the door. Little Leo flew underneath the door and raced back up to join the paper birds.

"Ew. I bet they're going to be all kissy and romantic and crap," Leo said. But when the picture came into focus, that's not what he saw at all.

"Why'd she make the bed _heart-shaped_?" Annabeth complained, climbing into bed. Percy had already lain down, and when Annabeth put her feet down, they pushed Percy's feet and legs over the side of the bed, sending him tumbling onto the floor.

"Sorry!" Annabeth said, crawling across the bed and helping him up. "The designer of this bed clearly didn't think things through. The point at the end makes it impossible for both people to stretch out and have room for their feet," Annabeth said. Percy nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "I know that now." Percy climbed back up onto the bed, and Annabeth curled up next to him.

"This sucks," Percy said.

"Trust me, seaweed brain, I know," Annabeth said. They kissed.

"Time to go," Leo said when it was clear the kiss wasn't going to end anytime soon. He steered Little Leo back underneath the door and on to the next room.

"Travis and Katie," Leo said, reading the sign. He plunged Little Leo under the door and steered the bird up to where the others flew. Every room seemed to have a flock of the paper creatures.

In the corner of the room, Katie sat at a patch of dirt Aphrodite had left her, making flowers shoot up out of it, then wither and die. She muttered under her breath, but Little Leo only picked up on some of the words. "Stupid…goddess…Travis…hate…home…die…"

Travis was sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep, or so it seemed. But just as Leo was bored and about to ask Reyna if they should move on, Travis's eyes shot open. He winked at Little Leo.

"He's on to us! What should we do?" Leo panicked.

"He's not swatting us out of the sky, let's just stay where we are," Reyna said. She actually looked interested in what was going on. Leo was pleased. He had done something right for once.

Travis got out of bed. He wasn't a master of stealth, but Katie was too wrapped up in her pile of dirt to notice.

Travis sneaked over to the water balloons Aphrodite had left him. He grabbed one and beckoned for Little Leo to follow him into the closet, and closed the door behind him.

"What's he doing with the water balloon?" Reyna said. But once Travis turned on the light, his plan became clear. In the center of the closet was a fish tank without any fish, just water.

"He stole that?" Leo said. That was Percy's fish tank.

"Are you surprised? He is a son of Mercury," Reyna said.

"Hermes," Leo corrected, "And it's an entire fish tank, not a watch or a wallet."

"But how's he going to fill a water balloon with a fish tank? Doesn't it require a spout or hose or something?" Reyna said.

"This is Travis Stoll. He'll find a way," Leo said. Sure enough, from behind a rack of Katie's jeans, he pulled out an empty soap container.

"I had to wash my hands like twenty times for this," Travis whispered, looking up at Little Leo. He screwed off the lid of the container, filled it with water, and closed it back up again. He pumped the water into the balloon, holding the balloon over the nozzle with one hand and pumping with the other.

"Only half full," he whispered, cursing and holding up the balloon, "But I've got a solution." With his free hand, he picked up a clothes hanger that had clips on it. The sleeveless dress it used to hold lay crumpled next to Travis. He clipped the balloon shut and refilled the soap container. Travis finished filling the balloon, tied it closed, and stood up.

"He wouldn't…" Reyna said, but Leo was too busy laughing to reply. In one swift motion, Travis leaped out of the closet and nailed Katie in the back of the head with the water balloon. She shrieked and jumped to her feet to face Travis.

"Gah!" she shouted. Travis was probably laughing too hard to hear her. Before anyone realized what was happening, a full-grown apple tree shot up from the dirt patch behind Katie. Travis stopped laughing. "That…wasn't…FUNNY!" Katie screeched. She jerked her hand forward and an apple shot off the tree and pelted Travis on the head.

"Ow!" Travis shouted. Katie continued her assault, launching apples all over the room. One flew off course and hit Little Leo's left wing. The bird spiraled out of control, somersaulting backwards into the door. Leo regained control and rushed back out into the hallway.

Piper and Jason were in the next room. Reyna didn't look too pleased about seeing them together, so Leo decided to just take a quick peek around and then high-tail it out of there. But when Little Leo focused in on Piper and Jason, there wasn't much to see. Piper was curled up in Jason's arms, and both were sound asleep. Leo would have found it cute if the fact that they were his two best friends didn't make it completely gross. Reyna clearly didn't find it cute. By the bottom half of her face, you would have thought she was angry. Her nose and mouth were scrunched up in a tight frown. But her eyes just looked sad. Leo tried to comfort her, but all that came out was, "I-ah-um-gah…" _I should really stick with machines instead of people, _he thought. He flew onward, under the next door.

"Leo, that's our room," Reyna said, too shaken up to even insult him. Sure enough, it was their faces that appeared on the screen.

"Sorry," Leo said. He piloted the bird on to Thalia and Nico's room.

Nico was asleep in the corner, curled up on a pillow. Next to him was a pile of human bones.

"Venus is just great with gifts, isn't she?" Reyna said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't know, it is Nico, he is quite fond of dead people," Leo said, "But I really hope those are fake."

Thalia crept over to Nico and sat down next to him. She studied the corpse carefully. The bones were held loosely together, whether from tendons or glue Leo didn't know, though he hoped the latter. Thalia lifted one of its hands, carefully so that the bones didn't clatter too loudly. She plucked off the index finger and dropped the hand. Leo was sure he was going to throw up.

"That's disgusting!" he shouted. Reyna shushed him.

"They'll hear us," she whispered. Leo made gagging noises and clutched his stomach.

Thalia gingerly touched Nico's nose.

"Now she's picking his nose!" Leo said. He looked away.

"No, Thalia isn't. But I think their dead friend is," Reyna said, stifling a laugh. When Leo looked back to the screen, Thalia had shoved the skeletal index finger up Nico's nose. Leo roared with laughter. She plucked off the middle finger, and did the same. Thalia continued the pattern until the skeleton had only a thumb on his right hand, and Nico had two fingers in each nostril. Satisfied, Thalia got up.

"Good night, Nico," she whispered and climbed into bed.

"Those two are going to get along great," Leo exclaimed.

The final room was Hazel and Frank's. They were the only couple with separate beds, probably because Hazel was so young. Frank held a bow and a quiver of foam tipped arrows. He and Hazel had been talking when Little Leo entered, but before Leo and Reyna could tell what the conversation was about, Frank notched an arrow. He looked over to Hazel, who giggled, and shot one of the paper birds out of the sky. Before Leo had time to react, Frank had notched another arrow and shot another bird.

"We have to get Little Leo out of there!" Leo shouted. He fumbled with the remote, but in his panic it fell out of his hands. "No!" Leo shouted.

"Frank, is that one mechanical?" Hazel said, pointing at Little Leo.

"Must be a camera," Frank grumbled. Leo finally got a hold on the remote, but he was too late. In one last attempt at escape, Leo swerved Little Leo in a frantic arc, but Frank shot the bird out of the sky. The TV went blank immediately.

"He killed my bird!" Leo shouted, "Can you believe this?"

"Goodnight, Leo," Reyna said, yawning. She climbed into bed and fell asleep almost instantly. Leo lay down next to her and sighed in defeat.

"I'm never letting Frank get away with this," he said.

* * *

**(A/N: I want to thank all of you for reading! This story is faring far better than I expected with reviews and followers, so thanks! I may not be an author that refuses to post if they don't get a lot of reviews, but they do make me smile!)**


	4. Chapter 4

** (A/N Sorry for the late update! I've been busy. But here's the next chapter, for fans both loyal and new! You guys are awesome!**

**Obviously, I don't own Percy Jackson. Rick Riordan does.)**

* * *

Chapter Four

"Truth or dare?" Leo asked Hazel. She considered carefully, looking to both sides of the room. Aphrodite had explained the game- if she chose truth and lied, an automaton lion, like Reyna's dogs, would bound out of the eastern door and tear her to shreds. If she chose dare and backed out, a monster would leap from the western door, and if she managed to kill it, she'd lose the game. If not, she'd die. Aphrodite had returned their weapons to them for this challenge only. Apparently, goddesses didn't mess around when it came to truth or dare. Hazel took a deep breath.

"Truth," she ventured. What was the worst Leo could ask of her?

"Alright," Leo said, rubbing his hands together and thinking for a moment, "Am I as hot as my great-grandfather was?" He grinned evilly. Hazel's heart ran like Arion.

"W-which great-grandfather?" she asked, stalling.

"You know who I'm talking about," Leo said. Hazel's throat twisted, and her lungs stopped functioning. He was talking about Sammy Valdez, of course, Hazel's crush from New Orleans, who also happened to be related to Leo. Out of the corner of her eye, she looked at Frank. He looked almost as uncomfortable as her. Hazel knew what her answer had to be. Of course he was- he and Sammy looked identical. But she wasn't sure what was worse- saying that with Frank right next to her, or being devoured by the mechanical lion. She was almost ready to take her chances with the lion, when she heard it growl behind the door.

"Well?" Leo said. Hazel buried her face in her hands. She couldn't put it off any longer.

"Yes," she squeaked.

"What? I can't hear you," Leo said with a smirk.

"Yes," she whispered again.

"Excuse me?"

"YES, ASSHOLE! BUT CLEARLY YOU DON'T HAVE SAMMY'S PERSONALITY!" she shouted. Her face burned. Had she seriously just said that on live television? Everyone was laughing, except for Frank, who just coughed and stared at his feet, avoiding Hazel's eyes. She put her arm around Frank, trying to assure him that she really did like him, but it just seemed to make things more awkward, so she pulled it away. She took a deep breath. Her turn.

"Um, Percy, truth or dare?" Hazel asked. Percy shrugged.

"Truth," he said. Hazel wasn't really sure what to say.

"Uh, when did you first know that you liked Annabeth?" she asked. Gods, that was a stupid question, and one that Percy wouldn't have any trouble answering. He and Annabeth were dating- it wasn't really a secret that they liked each other.

"I don't know. I was probably twelve, thirteen maybe," he answered. There wasn't much drama to it, but at least Hazel's turn was over. Maybe they'd realize she was terrible at this and not make her go again.

"Wise girl, truth or dare?" Percy asked. He and Annabeth shared a smile.

"Dare," Annabeth said.

"Ok, um…" Percy said, mulling over it, "Sing me a love song."

"_What_?" Annabeth said. Percy smirked.

"Sing me a love song. The most cliché, romantic thing you can think of. And you have to make it up on the spot."

"Percy, we're on the same team," Annabeth said.

"Too embarrassed? There's a monster behind that door just waiting to fight you," Percy said, unfazed by her logic.

"Percy, that's really terrible strategy," Reyna advised.

"She's made a fool of me enough times. It's my turn," Percy said, smirking playfully. He was joking, of course, but still Hazel wanted to punch him to get him to shut up. Did he not realize that Annabeth would get revenge, in a much worse way? But Hazel refrained. It was too late. The dare was given, and Annabeth couldn't back out now unless she wanted to lose. And a daughter of Athena would not lose that easily.

"Fine. You want a love song? I'll give you a love song," she said. She stood up, her eyes steel. She closed her eyes.

_ "I can't believe, how long it's been, _

_ Since the first time that we met. _

_ We were young, and we were fools, _

_ But I have no regrets. _

_ At first you were my friend, but then you were so much more. _

_ Oh, seeeeeeeeaweed brain. _

_ You mean so much to me, I can't believe, I can't believe. _

_ Oooooooh, seaweeeeeed brain. _

_ There was a time I thought you were just a partner on a quest, _

_ To be forgotten, like the rest. _

_ But you were always there for me,_

_ Through summers, thick and thin,_

_ Like the ocean, you surrounded me, how could I just forget? _

_ Ooooh, _

_ Aaaaah, _

_ Eeeeh, _

_ Ooooo, _

_ Waaaaaah, _

_ Aaaaaah,_

_ Gooooooo…"_

When it was clear Annabeth was running out of inspiration, and Percy couldn't contain his laughter any longer, Annabeth sat down. She had a great poker face, but her red cheeks revealed her. Hazel buried her face in her hands out of embarrassment for her friend. Thalia, Leo, and Travis were roaring along with Percy.

"A little pitchy, and some of the lyrics didn't make sense," Thalia said, controlling her giggles for a moment.

"Overall, good, an eight out of ten," Leo added.

Everyone else reacted like Hazel. Frank just sat there looking helplessly uncomfortable for a moment before just turning around backwards and facing the wall so he didn't have to look at Annabeth. Reyna and Jason had both taken a sudden interest in their fingernails, something neither of them paid attention to at any other time. Nico's eyes shot back and forth between the two doors, as if calculating if his chances would be better with the automaton or the monster, because this game sure as Hades would kill him.

Piper was the only one who looked Annabeth straight in the eye. "Revenge," she whispered, too quiet for Percy to hear. Annabeth coughed.

"Percy, truth or dare?" she asked.

"Dare," Percy said confidently. Too confidently. Percy was high off his supposed victory, and thought he could do anything. Annabeth was exploiting this, Hazel realized. Wisdom was a bad thing to mess with.

"It's your turn to sing me a song. You of course have to make it up on the spot, as I did. But nothing romantic. Make it something…" she pretended to think, "Sexual. Something very NSFW. A song that you would turn off if there were kids around." Percy sputtered.

"You're _joking_," he said.

"I take competitions very seriously, Percy," she said. Percy looked around at the faces of the other demigods.

"But we're _sixteen_," Percy said.

"I'm sorry, did your mommy never have 'the talk' with you? Did you _always_ sleep during health class? Do you need me to explain what sex is?" Annabeth teased.

"Shut up," Percy growled.

"Watch it, barnacle brain," she replied. Percy knew he was fighting a losing battle, but he made one last attempt.

"We're on the same team," he said.

"Funny, I think I said that earlier," Annabeth replied. Percy stood up and smirked, trying to look tough. Annabeth looked close to tears of joy.

Percy sang a song of his own invention, made up almost entirely of words not allowed on daytime television. He sat down, running his hands through his hair.

"I should have just taken the monster," he said, "I didn't mean any of that, by the way."

"What, you don't find me attractive?" Annabeth teased, enjoying herself immensely.

"No, I mean yes, but, you know what I mean, and…" he stuttered. Annabeth saved him with a kiss.

"Let's just forget about all of this, okay?" she said.

"Fine by me," Percy grumbled. Clearly, Annabeth was not going to forget.

"Nico, truth or dare?" Percy asked, still quite distraught.

A murderous fire burned in Nico's eyes. "Dare," he said, clenching his fists.

"Go knock on the monster's door," Percy said.

"That's all you've got, Jackson?" Nico said, his anger dissolving into pity.

"I'm sorry, would you rather make out with Frank?" Nico didn't respond. Instead, he stood up, strolled over to the door, and knocked. The door shuddered as the monster slammed against it, growling. Nico didn't flinch. He returned to his seat. A mortal might have jumped back, but for a demigod it was nothing.

"Thalia, truth or dare?" Nico said.

"Truth," she replied.

"Do you ever regret becoming a Hunter?" he asked. It was a pretty serious question, coming from somebody who had previously just wanted to get out of the game uneventfully. Thalia sighed and closed her eyes.

"I can't lie? Not even a little bit?" she asked to no one in particular. Nico shook his head.

"Not even a little bit."

"Fine. I'll admit, sometimes I regret joining the Hunters," she replied.

"Why?" Nico asked, with some actual emotion for once. He sounded almost…tender.

"That's two separate questions, death breath. I already answered. I don't have to say anything else," she said.

"Did you fall in love with me? Is that why we're a couple on this show?" he said. Hazel knew her brother well enough to know that he knew Thalia didn't love him. He was trying to manipulate her into answering him.

"Gods, no, you ignorant male," she said. She cleared her throat, "Sorry. The other Hunters have been influencing me. But no, I haven't fallen in love, especially not with you. It's just…seeing Annabeth, and Percy, and even you grow up- it's hard. I should be twenty by now, maybe even older, I've kind of lost track. But I'm not even sixteen. And I know that one day, you'll die, and I'll probably still be alive. And that hurts, a little. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out." Everyone was silent. "But I love being a Hunter; I would never leave Lady Artemis. The Hunt is my life now, and I love it, I really do, I wouldn't trade it for anything, not even a normal life," she added quickly. Nico frowned. He had probably been looking for a simpler answer.

"My turn," Thalia said. She smiled, but her eyes still wilted, "Percy, truth or dare?"

"Oh come on, me again? What is it, attack Percy day?" he complained.

"I thought it was only fair, seeing as you gave me the idea for the dare," Thalia said.

"And what if I don't choose dare?" Percy asked.

"Trust me, Jackson, if you answer my 'truth', Annabeth won't even talk to you for a week," Thalia said.

"What kind of truth would that be?" Percy asked.

"It might relate to a certain red-headed ex," Thalia said. Hazel knew she was talking about Camp Half-Blood's oracle, Rachel. Rachel and Annabeth were on good terms now, but Hazel had heard stories from when Percy was caught between the two. Things would get ugly if Annabeth learned that Percy still liked her, or had kissed her one too many times, or really anything that had to do with Percy and Rachel almost becoming a couple.

"Rachel and I were never really dating," Percy said, blushing. Annabeth raised her eyebrows.

"Don't worry, seaweed brain, nobody has to find out anything about that relationship, if only you choose dare," Thalia said.

"Blackmail much? Fine, dare," Percy said.

"Good idea. I dare you to make out with Frank, for two minutes straight," she said.

"I was joking when I said that before," Percy said, horrified. Thalia shrugged smugly.

"All's fair in truth or dare," Thalia said. Percy sighed.

"I'll take the monster," he said, trudging over to the monster's door in defeat. It swung open, and some kind of miniature hellhound bounded out. It was the size of a golden retriever, and didn't look capable of much except fetching sticks.

"Seriously? A baby hellhound? This is all you've got?" he shouted at the ceiling, trying to address Aphrodite without seeing her. The dog latched its teeth onto Percy's leg, and he yelped in pain. He uncapped Riptide and slashed at the mini beast, and it quickly dissolved. "I feel kind of bad, it was just a baby-eeeeeeeeh!" a pit opened up in the floor beneath him, and he dropped like a stone. Annabeth winced.

"What's wrong?" Hazel asked. It wasn't as if he had fallen to his death. He had defeated the monster. He was probably just in some room below them.

"Nothing. Percy and I just have bad experiences with falling into deep, dark pits," Annabeth replied. _Of course_, Hazel thought, _Tartarus_.

"Nico, truth or dare?" Thalia said.

"Oh, just give me a dare so I can get out of here," he said. Thalia shrugged, and gave him the same dare she had given Percy. Nico faced the door and spread his arms, waiting for Aphrodite to send out the monster. Once again, a baby hellhound ran out.

"What, did the Amazons give you free shipping when you ordered twelve of these?" he said. He pulled out his blade and chopped off the monster's head, sending monster dust floating around the room. He, too, dropped like Percy. Thalia continued the trend until all of the boys except Frank were out.

"Hazel, truth or dare?" she said. Her eyes had taken on a victorious glint.

"If I say truth, are you going to make me spill about my time in New Orleans?" Hazel asked. It was a painful time to talk about.

"Of course I am, Hazel," she said.

"Fine," Hazel grumbled, "Dare." Sure enough, she gave Hazel the same dare she had given everyone else. Hazel bit her lip, indecisive.

"What, does everyone find me repulsive?" Frank shouted.

"No, but it would just be…awkward," Hazel said. She couldn't stand the thought of even kissing Frank in front of all these people, let alone for two minutes. "Give me the monster," she said, drawing her sword and walking towards the door. She stabbed the mini hellhound before it even got a chance to touch her, and the floor dropped out from underneath her.

"Oof." Hazel landed on a mattress.

"Hey Hazel," Percy's voice said from somewhere in the room. She stood up and blinked a few times. They were in a dark room, too dark for her to see very much. There was a TV on the wall, and three long benches in front of it. The boys were sitting on the benches, but other than that she couldn't tell much about the room. She sat down next to Leo, just as another person hit the mattress behind her.

"Hi guys," it was Katie Gardner. She sat down next to Hazel.

"Is it even legal for her to get everyone out in the exact same way, not to mention the fact that she's using blackmail to get us to say dare?" Hazel said.

"It's Aphrodite's show," Katie said miserably, "She can allow whatever she wants, and she isn't stopping this."

Hazel watched as Thalia shot the same dare at Annabeth. But Annabeth didn't back down.

"Come here, Frank. I'm not giving up that easily," Annabeth said.

"A brave girl," Leo whispered. In the half-light, Hazel saw Percy's face contort in disgust. Frank looked as disgusted as Percy.

"Am I allowed to back down from this one?" he asked. In lieu of an answer, Aphrodite let lose a hellhound. Frank stabbed it gratefully, and fell into the room with Hazel. He squeezed in between her and Katie.

"Finally it's over," he said.

There were four girls left, Piper, Annabeth, Thalia, and Reyna. These four girls that would all do anything to win. Things were about to get interesting.

* * *

**(A/N Hope you liked! If anybody wants to write Percy's song, PM me the link, and I'll post it with the next chapter. I won't post the actual song, since it would most likely be rated M, and this story it T, but I can tell people how to find it. I'm thinking of maybe starting a new Percy Jackson fanfic, the idea's been floating around my head for a while now. I'll see, it might be a while before I start writing it. As always, reviews, and especially constructive criticism, are appreciated!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N Hey guys :) I'm back with Chapter Five! I finally preordered my copy of the House of Hades! But I also saw the Sea of Monsters, which was a huge letdown. I won't even get into that here, because it would most likely become a five page rant.)**

**I don't own Percy Jackson.**

* * *

Chapter Five

_Meanwhile at Camp Half-Blood..._

Connor was sick of the gods making his life messier than the Hermes cabin. First it was a war, then it was _another_ goddamn war, but now it was personal. Aphrodite had kidnapped his partner in crime, his fraudulent friend, his chum in cheating- his brother. Aphrodite had stolen a Stoll, and Connor was not happy about it.

He sat on his bunk, trying to get a good view of the screen. Aphrodite had returned around noon and given each cabin a Hephaestus TV. It was an older model that basically looked like something out of the nineties but painted silver. He was expecting some high-tech cosmic entertainment device, and ended up with a giant silvery brick that hardly fit through the door. The cabin was even noisier than usual, despite the fact that one of its members was about to be on television.

"Will you all just shut the fuck up? Our brother's about to be on TV, and you can't even sit down and be quiet enough to hear it on full volume. If Aphrodite's going to make a fool out of Travis, I sure as hell don't want to miss it," Connor shouted. Nobody heard him. He cursed under his breath. "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" If anyone heard him that time, they didn't acknowledge it. He sighed. He loved the Hermes cabin, but they could be some real assholes. He stood up and made his way to the door, dodging and trying not to step on any of the members of the overcrowded cabin.

"Where you going, Stoll? Jealous of your brother's fame?" Connor turned around. Standing on top of the TV was his newly-appointed worst enemy- Kayla Bren. She was only twelve years old, and about half as tall as him. She wore Ugg boots, skinny jeans, and an oversize sweatshirt, and had stringy brown hair that fell in her face. She was an excellent thief, and a total bitch. So naturally, everyone but Connor and Travis loved her. From day one, she had challenged the Stolls' authority as senior counselors, and everybody seemed to think she was just a little kid with no real power. But Connor saw how she made everyone love her. She'd be a real problem in a few years when she was old enough to duel him for counsellorship.

"No, because _I_ don't challenge authority. If Aphrodite wanted him on her show, then there's nothing I can do about it, because she's a goddess, and I'm just a puny little mortal," Connor said, staring pointedly at Kayla. Some got the metaphor, and stepped closer, waiting for a fight. Out of the corner of his eye, he was pretty sure he saw money changing hands. A few campers, some with the less-than-bright brains, just looked confused.

"Challenging authority is what Hermes cabin is all about," Kayla said, jumping down from the television, "You can't follow the rules and steal at the same time."

"We aren't just thieves, Kayla. We're messengers, travelers," he said.

"Fine, mailman. You can deliver the mail. But I think I'll stick with the braver thing. Stealing," Kayla said.

"It's not that I don't steal, Bren. But I've got a life, too," Connor said.

"While this is all very interesting, I need to speak with Stoll, so I'd appreciate it if you would hurry up and finish the argument," a new voice joined the conversation. Connor turned around. Rachel Dare leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed.

"Not now, mortal," Kayla said. For a glimpse of a second, an ancient evil flashed in Rachel's eyes. Just when Connor thought she would start throwing up green smoke and spewing a prophecy, she spoke.

"I don't take orders from a ten year old," Rachel said.

"I'm twelve, not ten!" Kayla shouted. Rachel smirked.

"Yeah. Two years. There's definitely a big difference there. Come on, Stoll," she said. Glad to leave Kayla's presence, Connor followed Rachel out of the cabin.

"What do you need?" Connor asked, nervous now. When the oracle came looking for you, even in non-prophecy mode… things probably weren't good.

"Nothing," Rachel said.

"Nothing?"

"No. You needed to get out of there before you got ripped to shreds by a twelve year old. I needed somebody to watch the show with. It's a win-win," she replied.

"'Watch the show?' You mean Aphrodite's show? Why wouldn't I just watch it in my cabin? Moreover, are you asking me on a date?" Connor said.

"Date? No. I'm the oracle, I can't date anybody. But that doesn't mean I'm doomed to a lonely existence. I can have friends, and since the majority of my friends are with the love goddess, I had to find somebody. You can't seriously say you want to go back into your cabin right now," she said, "They'll slaughter you after that incident."

"So you think I'm too much of a coward to fight my own battles?" Connor said, stopping in his tracks. They had been heading towards the forest, and had almost reached the edge of camp. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, I'm lonely and I don't really want to watch this show alone and be thinking about how all of my friends are away without me the whole time I'm watching. I don't think you get it. All of you demigods get to live in cozy cabins with all your siblings and friends. You know where I live? I live in a cave in the woods. It's decorated nicely, but that doesn't change the fact that it's complete isolation. And on top of that, everyone here is afraid of me. When they see me walking towards them, they don't think _oh hey, it's Rachel, I bet she wants to hang out_. They think, _oh shit she's coming to predict my death. _It's your choice. Go back to your cabin and admit you got your ass beat by a little girl, or we can watch together and I'll help you think of a plan for revenge," Rachel said.

"I was winning that argument," he said.

"Please. It doesn't take the gift of prophecy to know that you were going to lose," she said. Connor sighed. Without a word, he began walking towards the forest again.

A few minutes later, Connor sat on a beanbag chair inside the cave. It didn't look much like a cave from the inside. It had bamboo flooring, painted walls, electricity, water, plumbing, and awesome furniture. Connor wished he was the oracle just so he could live there.

"Did Aphrodite bring you a HTV?" Connor asked.

"Me? Nah, everybody forgets about the creepy mortal girl. But Apollo gave me that TV," she said, pointing to the giant flat screen on the wall. "It picks up on mortal stations, but also on Olympian shows. It's pretty cool," she said. She picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and changed it to channel five hundred. It was playing an ad for _The Real Housewives of New Rome_.

"Oh, good, it hasn't started yet," Rachel said. Another ad started, announcing the season premiere of _CSI: Mount Olympus_. "Anyway, about your revenge against the little brat," Rachel said, "I have some ideas."

"Okay," Connor said.

"So, at first I thought maybe a prank war, but then I had a better idea. Prank wars are too cliché for the Hermes cabin anyways. What if you did a thieve off? Robbery is what she thinks she's good at, so you have to show that you're better than her, even in what she's strongest at. Like, whoever can steal the most money in a twenty four hour period wins," Rachel said. Connor thought about it. Kayla would be a tough competitor. But he was Connor Stoll. He'd been stealing since he could walk. He could win, couldn't he?

"But what if I don't win? Or what if she cheats?" Connor said. Rachel grinned.

"You're capable of cheating, too," she said. She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out ten twenty dollar bills and gave them to him.

"You're giving me two hundred dollars, just like that?" Connor said. _Sweet_, he thought. The amount of stuff he could buy with two hundred dollars might be worth losing for. Rachel shrugged.

"I come from a rich family. And I expect it back when the competition's over," she said.

"And what makes you think she'll agree to this thieve off? What if she says no?" Connor said.

"You're her half-brother. You tell me. Would a Hermes kid even decline something like this?" Rachel said.

"No. So it's settled then. I'll talk to her at dinner," Connor said. Just then, the credits began to roll.

An hour later, after watching his brother get attacked by apples (nice job, Katie) and witnessing Thalia crush almost everybody in truth or dare, there were only four girls left in the game. It was still Thalia's turn, and Connor expected her to continue giving out variations of the same dare until she had won. But she surprised him.

"Annabeth, truth or dare?" Thalia said. She made no indication of blackmailing her into choosing dare.

"Truth," Annabeth said.

"Okay. If you weren't dating Percy, who here on the show would you want to date?" Thalia said. Annabeth took a deep breath.

"Sorry Percy, but probably Jason," she said. Reyna and Piper both looked ready to slap Annabeth, "Hey, I'm not saying I'd ever actually date him. I'm with Percy, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Anyway, Thalia, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Thalia said confidently. Annabeth thought for a moment.

"I dare you to lose," she said.

"What?" Thalia said. Damn, Annabeth was clever. If Thalia followed the dare, then she would lose, but she'd also lose if she refused to lose, and in general it didn't make a whole lot of sense. But no matter what she did, Thalia would lose, unless Aphrodite stepped in.

"You heard what I said."

"But…What…I can't just…I hate you," Thalia said. She stormed towards the gate holding the "monster," shot it with her arrow, and fell through the floor. Annabeth smirked. Rachel whistled.

"She's a smart girl. Good thing, too. It makes up for Percy's stupidity," Rachel said. Connor nodded, only halfway paying attention to Rachel.

"Annabeth, sweetie," Aphrodite's voice sounded from above, "While that was a very smart thing to do, we can't have you taking down all your competitors that way. I'll allow it this once, but please no more using that dare," Aphrodite said.

"But Thalia got away with reusing the same dare!" Annabeth shouted. There was no response. "Piper, truth or dare?" Annabeth grumbled.

"Dare," Piper said.

"I dare you to give Aphrodite the middle finger," Annabeth said.

"Right here? You want me to flip off a goddess? My own mother?" she said. Annabeth nodded.

"If I end up dead, it's your fault," Piper grumbled. Her hand was blurred out by the producers as she followed through with the dare.

"Reyna, truth or dare?" Piper said.

"Truth," Reyna replied. She hadn't been very involved in the game yet.

"Do you hate me for the whole Jason thing? Because I'm sorry," Piper said. Reyna sighed.

"Some things are better left unsaid. And sometimes there is no truth," Reyna said. She stood up and walked to the door of the automaton.

The lion leaped from the doors and pushed Reyna to the floor. It was bronze, impressively large, and definitely life-size. Reyna rolled to the side and jumped to her feet. The beast charged her. She sidestepped and stabbed where the neck met the body. But she missed, and her blade bounced back with a clang. The lion charged her again, and she had to dive-roll underneath it to avoid its deadly teeth. When she stood up, the beast hadn't figured out what had happened yet. She stabbed before it could turn around, in the only place without metal.

"She stabbed it in its butthole!" Connor bellowed. Rachel guffawed. Connor had no idea why a machine would need a place to shit from, but it was certainly funny.

The automaton howled in pain and turned around, leaving a cut bleeding oil in his behind. As the beast whimpered, Reyna cut off one of its front legs. It tried to lunge at her, but her job was easy now. She stabbed through its eye, and the machine fell dead. The floor didn't swallow Reyna, so she just stepped through the door that the automaton had come from.

"I thought that thing was supposed to be undefeatable and just devour them," Rachel said. Connor shrugged.

"Based on the monsters, did you really think Aphrodite was any good at choosing opponents for her contestants?" Connor said.

"She really hates me, doesn't she?" Piper said, devastated.

"I don't think so. I think she doesn't really know what to feel, so she's just confused. She doesn't hate you, but she doesn't not hate you either," Annabeth said. Piper sighed.

"It would have been better if you had just said she didn't hate me," she said, "Truth or dare?" Annabeth paused for a minute, then sighed.

"Piper, I think I'll just let you win this one," she said. She stepped over the lion and exited the way Reyna had. Piper looked bewildered.

"I…" she stuttered.

"Congratulations, Piper McLean! You've won the very first competition point of Aphrodite's House of Romance!" Aphrodite's voice boomed.

* * *

**(A/N I think I need to address the whole SOPA issue here. I'm not really sure what's going on, and I've been having trouble sorting fact from exaggeration. So, in the event that this website does get shut down, find me on Tumblr under the same username. If something happens to , I'll figure something out and post instructions on Tumblr on how to read the rest of this story. Hopefully, this website will be fine, but it's better to prepare for the worst than assume the best.**

**Also if anyone expresses interest, I may do a one-shot on the thieve-off. Otherwise, I'll just summarize it in the next "meanwhile at camp" chapter, which will be in about five chapters. If you'd be interested in reading that, let me know in the reviews!)**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N: Sorry, I was away for a few days. Anyway, Ladies and gentlemen, the update is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Arby's. **** I really need to stop listening to Night Vale.)**

* * *

Chapter Six

Dinner was interesting, to say the least.

After truth or dare, most of the demigods ran off to explore the house. Katie didn't. She knew she'd have to put up with antics from Travis and Leo, drama between Reyna and Piper, and way too much cuteness from Percy and Annabeth. So instead of exploring, she returned to her room, climbed up in her apple tree (which was still there from the previous night) and ate apples until she fell asleep in its boughs.

"Katie, wake up!" Travis had climbed the tree, and shook Katie awake. Unfortunately, he also shook her out of the tree. She flailed just enough to slow herself down, but still she got scratches all over her arms, legs, and face. Katie had only been stuck with him for twenty four hours, and she already wanted to kill Travis Stoll. He swung down from the tree.

"Sorry," he said, grinning.

"What do you want?" Katie growled.

"Dinner time," he said. Travis ducked out of the room before Katie could begin throwing apples again. She sighed and followed him downstairs.

All of the demigods were gathered in the kitchen. Hazel stood at the front.

"Okay, it looks like everybody's here. Um, so, lunch was kind of a disaster," Hazel said, gesturing to a freshly charred section of the wood floor.

"It wasn't a _disaster_. Mistakes happen," Leo said.

"Leo, Percy nearly burnt down the kitchen," she said.

"I burn things down on a daily basis," Leo said. Then he cringed, probably thinking about how his burning down things caused his mother's death. "Besides, plenty of chefs have accidents."

"He was making Kraft mac 'n' cheese."

"And it was some damn fine cheesy deliciousness," Leo said, high-fiving Percy, who looked very proud of his mac 'n' cheese. Katie wasn't totally sure what had happened at lunch, but she was glad she had been asleep for it.

"Anyway, the point is, when twelve demigods are all trying to work in one kitchen, and eleven of them have ADHD, bad things happen, regardless of how good the mac 'n' cheese is. So, I think we need to try to be more organized in the kitchen before somebody ends up in the hospital," Hazel said.

"That's definitely a good idea. So what's your plan? Please tell me it doesn't involve letting Percy use the stove," Annabeth said.

"No, we definitely won't let Percy near the stove, oven, or any sharp objects," Hazel replied.

"Hey! I'm a demigod! I carry a sword at all times, and you think I can't handle a kitchen knife?" Percy said.

"Fine, you can slice the vegetables, but don't blame me if you accidentally cut yourself," Hazel said.

"Please, I'll be fine," Percy said.

"Percy, do you realize that sword fighting and cooking are entirely different things?" Nico said.

"Really, guys, I'll be okay," Percy said. Based on what the others were saying about lunch, Katie was starting to doubt that.

"Okay, so I was just going to have us cook some chicken, rice, and green beans. Is that okay with everyone?" Hazel said. But it was quickly clear that _everybody_ had a problem with that.

"But I'm a vegetarian!" Piper protested.

"There's no milk in that, right?" Frank said.

"Chicken's gross!"

"Ew! I hate green beans!"

"Rice? No."

"Can't we have pizza?"

Hazel took a deep breath. "Okay, we'll also make baked beans, broccoli, and pasta," Hazel said.

"I hate broccoli!"

"Pasta makes me sick!"

"PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!"

"Okay, I guess we can see if there are any frozen pizzas in here," Hazel said. The kitchen had two large refrigerators, but Katie didn't think the kitchen was stocked well enough to accommodate all of them.

"Well, it's going to be more work than I anticipated, but we'll make do," Hazel said. She began giving orders.

"Nico, check the freezer for pizza. Annabeth, find chicken. Frank, get the box of rice and the box of pasta out of the pantry," Hazel said.

"I can get us fresh veggies," Katie offered.

"Perfect, you do that. Everybody else, try not to burn anything," Hazel said, handing Katie a bowl for the vegetables.

Katie dashed upstairs to her room. She kneeled next to her tree and closed her eyes. Several green bean and broccoli plants popped up around the base of the tree. She harvested the plants, dropping the vegetables into the bowl, and left the room.

When Katie returned, it seemed that Frank was the only one actually helping. He ran around the kitchen doing chores and preparing food, while everyone else was causing trouble of one kind or another. Jason, Leo, Percy, and Travis were having a four person sword fight with kitchen utensils and loaves of bread, while Piper tried to break up the fight. Then Leo hit her over the head with a spatula, and she joined the brawl. Thalia hung from the ceiling fan, trying to convince Annabeth to turn it on.

"Please?" she begged.

"No, Thalia, it's dangerous," Annabeth replied, "Besides, what if you land in the food?" Thalia rolled her eyes and continued to plead.

"I promise not to get hurt!"

Nico sulked in the corner, and Reyna stared out the window with her arms crossed, lost in thought.

"Good, Katie, you're back. Just set the vegetables on the counter," Hazel said, placing pieces of chicken on a pan and putting it in the oven. The microwave beeped. "Frank, get the rice out of the microwave. Katie, could you put the broccoli and green beans on a cutting board- THALIA, NO!" Nico had turned on the fan for her, and Thalia slipped and fell to the floor. Thalia swore.

"Somebody get Thalia some ambrosia. You might want to grab some extra, too, because we'll no doubt have more injuries," Hazel said.

"On it," Annabeth replied, running off to find a first aid kit. Katie remembered her instructions and set the vegetables on the counter. She then crawled along the floor, opening drawers and trying to find a cutting board. Almost everyone was able to dodge her as she passed- everyone except Frank. He was at the sink, filling up a pot of water to boil the pasta in, when Katie came by. Frank turned around too fast.

"Watch out!" Katie shouted, but she was too late. Frank tripped, dumping water all over Katie.

"Sorry!" he said.

"It's alright," Katie sighed. Someone handed her a dish towel to dry off with.

"You okay?" Hazel asked. Katie nodded. "Percy, get me some salt!" Hazel shouted, forgetting about Katie. Percy turned around to face Hazel, and dropped the toaster on Jason's toe in the process. Jason swore.

"Percy, what the hell were you doing with the toaster?" Annabeth shouted. She had just returned with the ambrosia.

"Nothing," Percy replied. Annabeth gave a chunk of ambrosia to each of the Grace siblings. Percy rummaged around the cabinets before returning to Hazel.

"Not the sea salt, idiot!"

"But sea salt's better," Percy said.

"Go chop the vegetables, I'll get the salt myself," Hazel said, snatching the box of sea salt from him.

"Guys, I'm going to go change into some dry clothes," Katie said. She didn't know if anyone heard her. She left anyway.

Katie took a quick detour into the bathroom for a new towel. The dish towel they had given her was almost as soaked as she was. Katie found a fluffy pink towel and wrapped it around herself. She went to her room, changed into a clean pair of shorts and a tank top, and trudged back to the kitchen, still cold and shivering from the water.

"Ow, ow, OW!" Percy shouted, cradling his hand and cursing.

"Damn it, seaweed brain!" Annabeth shouted. Percy had cut his hand, and was bleeding all over the broccoli. Annabeth ran over with ambrosia and bandages.

"I told him it wasn't a good idea," Hazel mumbled. "Katie, can you finish cutting up the vegetables?"

"Sure thing," Katie replied, throwing the bloody knife in the sink and reaching into the knife drawer for a fresh one. She cut off the bloody part of the broccoli and continued Percy's work.

Hazel bustled around, trying to cajole people into listening to her. Frank was the only one who managed to significantly help. Even Katie didn't do much more after chopping the vegetables. She got lost in the chaos. Finally the food was finished and the table was set.

"From now on, couples take turns cooking," Hazel said, "Because that was even worse than lunch." Hazel sank down into a chair. Smoke began to creep under the door of the kitchen. "Leo! I told you to turn off the stove!"

"Shit! Sorry!" Leo said, but he didn't get up.

"Well, you're the fireproof one!" Hazel shouted. Leo jumped to his feet and ran to the kitchen. Hazel sighed. "Like I said, we're taking turns from now on, and if you don't like what's served, too bad." The smoke alarms began blaring. Hazel buried her face in her hands. "Thank you, Frank, for actually helping," she mumbled.

"Done!" Leo said, sitting down at the table. The smoke had finally stopped. Suddenly, the alarms stopped too, and Aphrodite shimmered into existence in front of them.

"Hello, darlings," she said, "I'm here to announce the first winners of a couple point, Hazel and Frank!" she paused. The demigods were silent. "Applaud," she prompted. They clapped slowly. "I was hoping to wait for something grander, but I couldn't wait forever to start awarding points. So, congrats to Hazel and Frank, a couple point for their only slightly mediocre display of cooperation. Good job, Frazel." Frank and Hazel both groaned at the use of their couple name. Katie couldn't blame them- if Aphrodite started referring to her and Travis "Tratie," she might have to strangle her, despite her goddess status. Aphrodite waved her hand, and a sparkly pink scoreboard appeared on the wall behind the table. On the top half was the name of each couple, with a "1" next to "Frazel", and a "0" by everyone else. On the bottom half was the name of each individual competitor followed by a "1" for Piper and "0" for the others.

"From now on, this will display your scores. Let's work to eradicate all the zeros! Also, curfew will be ten-thirty from now on. Be in your rooms by that time, or face the punishment. Trust me, you do not want to be punished by a goddess. Goodnight, half-bloods," with that, the goddess disappeared, and the demigods were left to eat.


	7. This isn't a real chapter Sorry

I'll cut to the chase- I'm done writing this story. All along, there's been no inspiration behind it, no real plot line for it to follow. I'm really sorry about this, guys. This was mostly a set of ramblings to get me through my writer's block, and it worked, with a lot more success than I expected. I want to thank all of you for your reviews, favs, and follows. It means a lot. I'll keep writing, though with NaNoWriMo coming up I'm not sure when I'll get back to fanfiction. If you're interested in writing the rest of this story, PM me! I'd love to read someone else's take on this idea! Love you all - Sam.


End file.
